Phase V: Neglect

After battling the pokeweed, the mosquitoes, the ivy, the weeds, I had serious hope for the yarden. As Ben Bernanke was claiming there were green shoots in the economy, so were there green shoots in the yarden! But the evil specter on unemployment came upon the yarden in the form of a pair of vile rodents. Yes, rabbits! Monstrous, floppy-eared, remorseless rabbits that assaulted the yarden in late September and October. As the days grew shorter, I was forced to rely on my Saturdays to assess the state of my yarden. But many a Saturday was ruined by rain. When I finally could check, the lettuce had been entirely eaten away. Few of the cucumber plants remained and these were limp and lifeless. When Christina asked one night, "Doug, how are your crops? You must attend to your crops!" I looked up mournfully and said, "General Lee, I have no division." (This did not, in fact, actually happen. But I would like to think I felt a fraction of what Pickett felt on July 3, 1863 after observing the complete annihilation of two crops and the severe reduction in the forces of the onions and the carrots.)

The current status is thus: A few onions and carrots have perservered and I have attempted to weed around them. The veritable iron brigade of the crops has been the radishes. They have resisted rabbits, falling branches, hooliganism, deer, and weeds to produce a possible bumper crop. Christina actually dug one up and ate it, proclaiming that it "tasted like a radish" which is more than I could have possibly hoped. (Before this, the closest we had come to eating one of the crops was when we held a dead carrot plant and observed that it "smelled like a carrot.") And therein lies the germ of hope. With a successful radish crop, we now feel confident to move on! No more nurturing of pokeweeds! No more placating the wildlife! We will prevail!