The secret bathroom

Faced with a line in the one men's room available at the Washington Marriott during the APPAM conference, I did something rash. I walked up to the man at the front desk and said "Do you have a bathroom available?" He looked at me slyly and said, "I'll tell you what. You seem like a desperate fella. Here's a key to the gym on the third floor. There are two bathrooms in there. Just don't tell anyone." The bathroom was awesome.

Moral: If you need to use a bathroom, talk to someone at the hotel front desk. (My morals do not pretend to have external validity.)

When I gave the guy the key back, he said, "Excuse me, sir, what room is this for?" I just looked at him with a blank look. Then a knowing look crossed his face and he said, "Oh, riiiiiiiiight."

Moral II: If you don't answer people, they often supply their own answer. (OK, so this moral's more generalizable. I wouldn't try out this moral in a job interview, however.)