Reliving the nightmare

Perhaps this was mentioned in a pervious post, that I am a Scoutmaster (despite loathing everything about the Scout program when I was young and scouting. This alone is a testament to my willingness to give up everything for my religion, especially because I will always be called into Scouting positions for the next 50 years and when I attend stinking roundtables I will always have to raise my hand when they ask, "Who's been involved with Scouting for 50 years?" Maybe by then I'll love it a quarter as much as the Steve Snelson [imagine a man draped in all sort of Scouting paraphenalia, and I mean draped, like Louis XVI's bed in Versailles draped, like burqua draped]). Anyway, one of my scouts, a young man named Brennen/McCauley (he changes his name with the weather) asked if me and my wife wanted to go see him perform at the local high school Coffee House/music performance thingee. So my wife and I went. It was a journey backwards in time....
The first band we saw we're goth chicks making dissonant noises. Christina said, "This isn't music" and I said "But they're goth chicks." Sign number one that we were back in high school. Back then, goth chicks seemed pretty cool from a distance. After a couple of passable performance by some other bands we were treated to an absolutely stunning display of death metal by a band named, and I'm not kidding you, Mastication of Flesh. Cue the badly played jackhammer guitars, thundering bass and screaming vocals. It was a mess. Horrible. I can't imagine that the original (it was a cover) could have been any better. So, after that subsided, we were treated to some more mediocre music. Finally, the two guys from our ward followed back to back one playing an acoustic version of a Social Distortion song and the other playing a Nick Drake song. It was good. We should have left. Instead, we stayed because we saw that later in the program were covers of Dashboard Confessional and Sufjan Stevens. What a mistake. Because after the Nick Drake cover we had the wonderful opportunity to hear another death metal band, this one entitled Chapel of Decay. Cue the...jackhammer guitars, thundering bass and screaming vocals. The only difference between the two bands was that the bassist for Chapels was a chick in a miniskirt with a Freddy mask.
Then came the culminating final two acts of the night (for us). The kid who was playing the Dashboard song had in his introduction, "This song is dedicated to all those in love, who have been in love or want to be in love." Then, before the kid started singing he said, "This song is deidcated to my girlfriend, Emily, who was just crowned homecoming princess." The crowd cheered. Christina about puked on my shoulder. He then proceeded to perform the worst cover of any song except my cover of Wild Thing in an Orem storage shed when I was 18 (that was baaaaaaaaad). The next song was an original novelty song about the administration taking a kids hat. Every terrible memory of high school assemblies came back. We didn't stay for the Sufjan cover mainly because we realized it wouldn't really be Sufjan, now would it? It would be a 17 year old trying to be Sufjan.
Well, the Leb just spit up all over me. This post must be finished up. It smells awful. Oh mercy...Leb, seriously...