Raging against the machine

Growing up, nothing seemed more ludicrious than bashing the po-lice. Didn't understand why I should side with the gangbangers over the Establishment (or Machine if you will). When the Living Things spun their sorry tale prior to opening for Blur about the St. Louis police's dismal response time to their cousin choking at a party (it was the worst story I've ever heard at a concert), my heart of stone was unmoved. But, I'm beginning to understand the plight of the rappers and the Living Things. To wit:

I purchased a car in Virginia. How should I get said car home? Well, the seller certainly didn't want me to drive off with his license plates risking the possibility of me never registering the car. Such things are unheard of here in our merry land of distrust. So, we thought, "Well, it would certainly make sense to be able to obtain a temporary registration for our vehicle so that when we purchase the car, we can tell the world at large, 'This car is in the process of meeting state requirements.'" However, Merryland law dictates that temporary licenses may only be processed if you have the title. Well, I didn't have the title yet because I hadn't purchased the car. So, there was no way to get a temporary registration and was faced with the prospect of driving through VA, DC, and MD without any license plates, an attempt that I knew would be folly. For there are many police on these roads, and those police are searching for people like me driving an as-yet unregistered vehicle. So, I did what any good Westerner would do. I decided, to avoid the hassle, to remove the front plate from my Prizm and put it on the back of the van for the 15 hour period where it would not be registered. Seems simple, right? I avoid getting pulled over driving home and then my van isn't a target for criminals (if you were going to steal a car, would you steal the one with plates that looks registered or the one without plates that looks new and is possibly unregistered?)

Well, the next morning I go to check out my new purchase on the way to work and there on my back windshield is...get ready for it...a 40 dollar citation for having an unregistered vehicle sitting in the parking lot of my apartment complex. How dare I defile the parking lots of Greenbelt with an unregistered vehicle! For shame! Yes, so for all of you kids scoring at home, the Greenbelt police finds running license plates of everyone in the Greenbriar parking lots more important than, you know, stopping assaults over at Spring Hill Lake. It sat for one night in my parking lot without registration and I got a citation. On top of all of this, the police officer had removed the license plate from the back of the car and, we discovered, returned it to the MVA. Why not hold on to it at the police station? Why not contact the owner of the plates and say, hey! I found your plates on another car. What's the deal? Nooooo, they just steal plates and return them to the MVA. So help me, if we go to the MVA and they say that we need to re-register the Prizm instead of just giving me my plate back, I will launch a rap career. Or run for City Council.

So, yes Virginia, there is a machine and a need to rage against it.