But, then we began to hear noises of a different sort, louder scratching, under different appliances. Something from deep in the earth's bowels had arisen and had made its foul way into our way by may of an inexplicable huge hole behind the stove. Curse random huge holes behind appliances! Curse slipshod retrofitting of ancient houses for modern amenities! We laid our puny electronic mouse traps and small sticky traps and caught nothing. Christina caught glimpses of the monster during late night feedings of Colette.
But 'twas this most recent Thursday when I finally laid my eyes on the creature. An audaciously fat, slow rodent that was operating in the mid-evening. He escaped under the dishwasher and left me a mess of nerves, recognizing that I had nothing to combat something of that size.
I laid the smaller sticky traps by the dishwasher, and laid bits of cheese on them. In the morning, they were pushed out of the way and the cheese was gone. So, on Saturday morning, we all woke up early to take Christina at the airport. Suddenly, the beast appeared from beneath the piano and scurried around the room. Of course he makes his most bold appearance when I have no time to set up a perimeter and hunt his foul self down. He scampered back to the piano and we had to leave.
So, on Saturday, the kids and I bought giant sticky traps. GIANT! Six of them! And I baited them as before. So, what to my wondering eyes should appear this morning but this!
In the bottom left, you can see two big paw prints. The stinking rat took two big steps in going for the cheese, got stuck, pulled the sticky trap to the middle of the floor and freed himself.
1) I have now given the monster additional Spiderman type powers: Sticky paws.
2) What's the use of the sticky trap if the rat can free himself?? I don't want a "trap" like the Empire's great trap that succeeded in getting the Emperor killed, the Death Star blown up, and Darth Vader rehabilitated. That is not a successful trap. No, a successful trap is like the one that the Ewoks laid for Chewbacca. That worked.
But alas! To quote the plastic surgeon who really did a number on the Joker after he fell in acid "You see what I have to work with here." A bunch of stupid sticky traps. So, here's my new plan...
THREE STICKY TRAPS!
WITH PEANUT BUTTER IN THE MIDDLE!
I will wait for the rat. A stakeout. When I hear his cries of dismay at getting a paw stuck, I will strike. Oh, I will strike with the wrath of a thousand tortured souls who do not want to buy rat poison to have the rat crawl into the wall and die and moulder for the next two weeks.
In other news, I watched Ridley Scott's the Duellists last night. The movie has nothing to do with me suddenly feeling like the rat has insulted me and therefore I must duel with him until the matter is resolved. Nothing.
3 comments:
Two questions:
1. Why haven't you called a professional exterminator yet? Your landlord should foot the bill for it and I don't think you've got the weapons to take care of such a menace.
2. Where was Christina going?
My advice would be to get rat traps like this: http://www.doyourownpestcontrol.com/ratsnap3.gif
Until you get used to setting the traps, it is a bit nerve-wracking. I've caught my fingers a few times. But in the end, the rodents rarely escape. Sometimes they do lick the bait off, but if you wedge chunky peanut butter in, they usually start to gnaw. (Of course you have to put the traps somewhere the rat will get to but kids, pets, and you guys won't.)
Just my two cents. Your Dad's advice is a good idea, though.
Go, Doug! My money is on you. I'm with your dad, though. This seems like a landlord responsibility--to provide a livable space.
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