How the Monkeys Got Their Yellow, as told to General Carnaby by a passing outlaw

"Once long ago, child, our ape brethren held us in captivity in the wilds of Africa. Apes could not make yellow coloring. Long their scientists worked on creating this hue, but alas, to their dismay they never were able to create yellow. Until one day, in the Infectatorium, the leading humanologist noticed something strange about their human captives. It was three days before the coronation of the new king who had dubbed himself the Sun King. The incoming king had demanded that his new robes be yellow. He had promised the people yellow. If he could not produce yellow, he would be cast like feces from his throne. No one really knows why. But did I mention they were apes?"

"Yessir"

"Don't interrupt, you mongrel. As the story goes, the lead humanologist called the lead tailor of the king's robes and said, 'I will produce you yellow!' He then called in a score of humans from the Infectatorium who had violent head colds. He called for a score of Bucket Apes"

"What's a bucket ape?"

"Who cares? An ape who carries a bucket, I presume. I'm just relating what was told me. The head humanologist proceeded to punch each infected human in the face. They sneezed into the buckets. 'There is your yellow!' proclaimed the head humanologist. 'And I will produce more!' The score of humans returned to the Infectatorium where they told the rest of the infected humans. They all said, 'Neat' and escaped during the coronation of the Sun King in his stunning yellow robes."

This story was inspired by the People of Tyre who extracted the mucus of sea snails to get the color purple to sell to the Romans.