by Tayquan Underwood, Saint Mary's City Picayune p. A1
ST. MARY'S - A family visiting Saint Mary's City from the rough-and-tumble northern county of Prince George's County (Slogan: Gorgeous Prince George's) were sentenced to a spell in the stocks on Friday for attempting to weigh anchor on the replica sailing vessel the Dove and by impersonating a judge during a trial in Town Hall.
"I thought it was all a larf, this spreading mayhem and deceit", said Mr. C. who never divulged his true name. Philip Mayhew did not "larf" along with Mr. C. as bailifs assumed that Mr. C.'s sentence of "30 days of eating Fun-yuns till yonder miscreant's belly is two-times it's rightful size" was official and began force-feeding the poor Mr. Mayhew who had earlier been convicted of running a classy restaurant, a type C misdemeanor in the county.
At trial, Mrs. C was equally insolent stating that, "The Dove is mine. Whether tonight or in ten years, I shall have it." These unrepetant comments left the town fathers (Pappy McGovern, Winston "Hal" Calvert, and Billy Bones) with no choice but to place the entire family in the stocks in the field adjascent to Town Hall. Representatives for the C family could not be reached at this time, but local townsfolk are prepared for the possibility of a revenge strike from angry Prince Georgians. Winnie Sterbum said, "My flintlock is primed. I'll take out any hooligan that tries to mess up this pristine little burgh."
Mrs. C attempts to make off with The Dove
Mr. C. passing false judgement
The C family in the stocks
2 comments:
I looked closely at that stocks photo and realized that the best actor in the family is the youngest. He looked downright miserable. Doug was the second as he looked mighty indignant. It looked like David had no clue he was in the stocks. Perhaps he's the most enviable.
I imagine there might have been some difficulty getting in and out of the stocks. Did you have somebody help you, or did you try and pull yourselves up by your boot straps?
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